I Miss My Brother

Missing my little brother so much lately.

One minute, I’m focused and feel “normal” and then it hits me that my new reality is one where my little brother isn’t physically here anymore and I can’t get one of his giant bear hugs.

My little bro is 3.5 years younger than me but has always had a grizzly beard that made me jealous 😂 and was not afraid to hug you hard enough you thought you’d pop.

He has passion for living life on his terms, especially voicing his opinions without shame of how others interpreted it or took away from what he had to say.

We always made a point to share our love for one another, no matter what terms we may have been on.

Of course, I have thoughts of regrets and that’ll always be there. What I’ve found to be helpful is understanding that I challenged Danny to be the best I knew he could be out of love. I knew each time I challenged him with a specific aspect of life that I’d risk being a person he’d be stoked on in the moment but I knew it would help him and gladly took the sacrifice in the moment.

With that said, the regrets I may have turn into gratitude of the moments we shared over his 26 years of life and that I did everything I could to love and support my brother to the best of my abilities.

I didn’t give into the things I knew were hurting him and his goals, like many did in his life, and I lead my life of an example of the possibilities for him in his life. I can reflect on all the moments where regret comes in and asses if I’d rather have it the other way in regards to my choice in the moment.

Of course, I’m human and there are moment I would have approached differently.

Although he didn’t believe it, Danny is beyond intelligent and talented and has a big ass heart of gold for people he decided he’d let into his life.

It may come off as cliche, but I encourage you all to let the people you love in your life know it but also make decisions you believe in our of love. Even if they’re difficult decisions, audit them in the perspective of love and support for those you love.

Josh P. 💚🧠✌️