So many of us, including myself, tend to think “if this then that” when it comes to how we think and feel.
We give away our power to create the lives we desire by believing that if we just had a little bit more money, if we lost a little more weight, if we obtained a few more things that represented success, and so on that THEN we would feel happy, secure, and confident.
The problem with this is that this way of thinking rarely leads to success with obtaining what we want and even less often are those things maintained in our lives.
Why?
I break this down in this article and explain why my client and I have broken out of this thought process and what it’s done for us.
WHY “if X then Y” Thinking Does NOT Work
I get it. You’re working your ass off to reach your goals and feel like if you could just get a taste of success, THEN you’d feel better about yourself.
If you could just get a little more money in the bank, THEN you’d feel more comfortable.
If you could lose a little more weight, THEN you’d feel more confident.
If you got that promotion or that raise, THEN you’d feel happier.
What I find with most people that want the weight loss, the bigger bank account, the promotion, the relationship, etc. is that they just want to feel whole.
They want to feel secure, happy, loved, appreciated, valued, and confident.
When all I could focus on was my bank account, I could not see the bigger picture holding me back.
It was my programming of not feeling complete that led me to always chasing something to fill the void.
Once I tripled my income in just one year, those same holes existed meaning, the same problems were present in my life.
I kept thinking, “if I could only make “x” more money this year, then I would feel secure, confident, and happy.”
Boy was I wrong.
This is what I call “if x then y” thinking, which I like to refer to as “at effect”.
The problem with this form of thinking is that you’re operating from a place of limiting belief and/or negative emotions, which highly influences your behavior and creates the reality you experience on a daily basis.
Your physical health, your bank account, your relationships, etc. are all just evidence of the greater problem with regards to your personal programming.
What I didn’t know is probably what you and many others also don’t know in this moment.
Rather than being the conductor of our lives (at cause for our reality), we are in the passenger seat of others’ lives (at effect to our environment and circumstances).
We are so focused on an OUTCOME, we skip over the type of person (IDENTITY) that we must become to obtain that which we want in our lives and then begin comparing and contrasting our reality to that of others based upon not having what we want.
Be honest with yourself.
How many times have you asked yourself, “am I becoming the type of person that has the life I want”?
It’s great to have a goal or an outcome you’re working towards, as that sets your sights on a target. But, identity is what drives the habits which shape the identity in a sort of loop of feedback based upon choices & habits.
People talk a lot about developing “good habits” to achieve what it is they are after.
But, habits are not about having anything (OUTCOMES), rather, they’re about becoming someone (IDENTITY).
Identity isn’t set in stone as many believe it is.
You have the power to change your beliefs about yourself and the actions/habits that affirm that belief.
You can choose an identity and then choose habits that reinforce that identity in every moment of your life. Adversely, you can unconsciously choose habits that reinforce a limiting belief about yourself that you don’t enjoy.
That’s why it’s important to become aware of your mental programming.
Your habits shape your identity and your identity shapes your habits in a “feedback loop” of mental and emotional information based upon choices, habits, and experiences.
Let value, principals, and desired identity drive this feedback loop rather than results or outcomes.
Continue to ask yourself, “who is the type of person that could GET the outcome I want” and audit your actions to see if they’re congruent with your answer.
Set your sights on the target (GOAL/OUTCOME) and then focus your energy on becoming the type of person (IDENTITY) that has what you want by voting on becoming that type of person with your choices in everyday scenarios.
It’s not about perfection.
It’s about a majority vote for the type of person you want to become.
Focusing on how that version of you thinks, feels, and behaves is what generates the outcome as a positive consequence.
Not the other way around like most of us tend to think.
Most of us think “if X then Y” in regards to thinking & feeling a certain way when we achieve a goal, get an outcome, or obtain something.
When we flip that around, we not only have a higher probability of obtaining the life we want, we have a higher probability of maintaining it.
This is exactly what I help my clients achieve whether they come to me for help losing weight or starting a business and/or increasing their business performance.
It’s all tied together as your health affects your performance which affects your career, relationships, and personal development, and vise versa.
The people I work with come to me to either lose weight or just feel better about themselves, inside and out.
With our time together, my clients not only learn how their current model of the world is creating the experiences in various aspects of their lives that they dislike but they also learn how they can take the wheel and create their IDEAL life.
After taking charge within my own life and sharing what I was learning and experiencing, and seeing the lives of others transform, I decided to dedicate my life’s work to helping others do the same and share it with their loved ones as well.
If you’re tired of feeling frustrated, insecure, like you’re not being valued like you should, feeling lonely, or just feeling like shit, reach out and let’s talk.
You DESERVE to have a chance at living your most IDEAL life and enjoying the process.
Don’t let past attempts or limiting beliefs hold you back from at least exploring the possibilities.
You owe it to yourself to have the opportunity to be as healthy, happy, and successful as you can.